Leaps & Bounds: Pathways to Success

The success of a business is often dependent on its leaders. You might have heard that “excellent leaders are made not born”. What are the qualities of that leader?

• Gets the job done by combining past experiences, proven strategies and continuous improvement on “hard” and “soft” skills.
• Assesses a situation quickly using logic and intuition
• Has a vision (includes values, the company’s mission/purpose/goals)
• Excellent Understanding
• Courage
• Risk-taker
• Patient
• Has excellent crisis management skills
• Integrity (do what they say they would do, face reality, admit their lesser strengths, are reliable and consistent).Â

How many of these areas describe you? Are there some you want to work on? Which ones are you ready to take on? You can become a great leader.

“Do you know someone that you would like to change and improve?

Good! That is fine. I am all in favor of it. But why not begin on yourself? From a purely selfish standpoint, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others – and a lot less dangerous.”

Criticizing others rarely does any good because people are not creatures of logic, they are creatures of emotion. Very rarely will you criticize someone and hear them respond with “Why thank you, I see you are correct and I shall improve immediately.”

No, criticism is a dangerous spark that usually brings out every unbalanced Advisor (thoughts in your head) the other person has. When we feel attacked (which is what being told you are wrong feels like), we usually respond in one of two ways, 1) with hurtful emotion or 2) defensive anger. Neither of which is productive in the least.

Can you remember a time when someone criticized you? Do you remember how you REACTED? Did their criticism do any good? Did it inspire you to improve? Probably not, it rarely does. How do you feel about that person today?

As parents, we often stumble and destroy good lessons for our children by criticizing them for their mistakes. In so doing, we create anger and hurt directed at us, instead of letting the natural consequences of the mistake teach the lesson.

Benjamin Franklin said his secret to success was to” speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody.” This is a good policy.

Any one can criticize, condemn and complain – and many do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. It is also a much smarter way to live.

Instead of criticizing, try stepping into another person’s world. Ask them questions, find out where they are and how they feel about an issue. Validate them as a human being by caring about what they think and feel. As you question, you may learn things about this person which explains the problem. You may then, have the opportunity to show up for them (not to advise or fix them) but offer to show up for them in a different way.

This approach will lead to more solutions, improvements and change than any amount of criticism ever could.

Now what about when someone criticizes you? You will feel the reaction, as they trigger those Advisors in you, to defend yourself. Don’t do it. Step back.

From a safer perspective, you should be able to see that this person owns this problem (it is about them – not you). See this criticism as a door into their world, instead of as an attack on you. This is a wonderful opportunity to walk through that door into their world and find out what is really going on. Instead of defending yourself, ask them “Tell me why you feel that way?”

Let them get it out. Ask more questions, find out how they feel and where these perceptions of theirs have come from. Make sure that they feel heard and understood. (This does not mean you agree with them – This does not mean you will give them their way) It means that you will validate them as a person with the right to feel the way they do. You will let them feel heard.

From here you can work on a solution to strengthen the relationship. Whenever you are on either end of criticism – ask yourself what your highest best self would do. Treat others as you would be treated.

Excerpts from University of Success Lesson 31 – Og Mandino

You work so hard and feel as if there are never enough days in a week or hours in a day to get everything you need to get done at the office. Is it because there really is too much work? Or are you a workaholic?

While it may be true that more and more businesses are adding more hours to employees’ workdays to survive this fiercely competitive global environment, some people may be using this rationale as a reason to justify their obsession with work.

According to Dr. Gayle Porter of Rutgers University School of Business workaholics are addicts. “They overwork to compensate for self-esteem, self-concept and identity issues. This plays out as sacrifice of intimacy, a high need to control, inflexibility and perfectionism.”

So how can you tell if you’re overworked, or a workaholic? Answer some of these questions and see how many yes responses you come up with.

Do you work more than 50 hours a week?

Do you dream about work?

Do you feel that in order to succeed you must work late ALL the time?

Do your working habits hurt those you love? (i.e. Is your spouse always unhappy about your work schedule? Do you spend less than 8 hours a week with your children?)

Do you schedule and undertake more than you can get done in a 40-hour work week?

If you worked less, you wouldn’t know what to do with your spare time.

Is missing family and social events because of work unavoidable?

Is developing a hobby an impossible task?

Do you check messages, log on to the Internet to check e-mail, while on vacation?

Do you become impatient with others who have different priorities?

The greater the number of yes answers, the closer you are to fitting the profile of a workaholic. If you’ve answered yes to more than half of the questions, it’s time to take stock before you lose your health, family and everything you hold near and dear to your heart.

First, of all take a really good look at your job, what you do and the importance of your accomplishments. Are you appreciated for all those long hours you’ve put in? Does it really – I mean really – make a difference in your paycheck? Let’s face it. In today’s economic environment, employees are often nothing more than expendable pawns. No amount of overtime and sacrifice will make a difference when a company has to make cutbacks.

Secondly, determine if you’re having fun at your job, long hours notwithstanding. If you’re not having fun and are popping antacids to avoid a stress-related ulcer, then you need to rethink all that hard work you’re putting in. Fun must be a high priority in your life and your job should be no exception.

Learn to say “no”. Although many upwardly mobile professionals advocate the “you snooze, you lose” mantra, the world isn’t going to stop if you said “no” once in a while. Consider alternatives to working overtime or on weekends. I know of one banking executive who was summoned to travel to another city at a moment’s notice to attend a very important meeting. He was newly married and knew this was not the way to start his married life. So he refused. Instead, he picked up the phone and called a teleconference, which he wrapped up in an hour. When his employers questioned his physical absence, he simply told them that he’d just saved the company $7,000 in travel expenses and still provided valuable input at the meeting.

Consider real and imagined deadlines. Is that project really due tomorrow morning? If it will take you two weeks to complete a project comfortably, then say so. Don’t try to impress your employers by setting unrealistic deadlines and then killing yourself over it. They are more likely to respect you when you know exactly your time frame and how to set your priorities.

If all else fails, then consider doing this: write your own Eulogy. Think about how you would like to be remembered. Imagine your friends, family, and coworkers at the podium talking about the kind of person you were. Imagine them saying, “He worked all his life. He gave 100 percent to his company. He died too young.”